Matthew D. Dekenah

How To Avoid A Speeding Fine

Cee-Lo’s Shawshank Redemption

Why Yes I Would. Thank You.

via marisah

True Blood Explained in 60 Seconds

Man’s Last Hope

via wezzo

Bed Intruder Song (Autotune News Report)

The original News Report here.

The Last Exorcism (Movie) - Chatroulette Marketing

True Blood Rolling Stone Cover

Twitter Movie Trailer

Since the release of the official trailer for the Facebook movie, The Social Network, parody trailers have emerged for YouTube, MySpace and now Twitter (above) Movies. Hilarious.

Yes… This Exists

This Pose

Update: Awesome - http://lesbianswholooklikejustinbieber.tumblr.com/

Inception Infographic

by dehahs on deviantART (via @CandidKar)

So, it’s my birthday this Friday the 13th and I decided to share some astrological insight into yours truly using an adaptation of the entry for August 13 in the book

We all enjoy our nocturnal escapades with a touch of alcohol from time to time. Some of us more than others, but most of the time we are completely unaware of what we are…

I got my one son an iPhone for his birthday the other week, and recently got my other son an iPod for his. I was dead chuffed when the family clubbed together and bought me an iPad for father’s day.

I then got my wife an iRon for her birthday. It was around then the fight started.

Justin Bieber’s Memoirs

Justin Bieber is apparently releasing a memoir later this year. Could somebody explain to me how an 8 year old girl can write a memoir? WTF?

via @GarethCliff

Sardines in Oil

Jesus Calls Peter to Follow Him (In the 21st Century)

via JoshHarris.com

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Internet Needs

via TheNextWeb

Seriously?

Many Californian cities have public comment sessions regarding current issues. Maybe they shouldn’t. Perhaps she’s from South Carolina?

Modern Life

via Business Pundit

Today is the Day…

That Marty McFly arrived in the future (our present) after hitting 88mph in a pimped out Delorean in 1985.

Watch yourselves when you cross the street today, people.

Restaurant Review:

Don’t Be Fooled

via Wezzo

Vuvuzelas - Annoying Since the 15th Century

via @Apie

Just So You Know What To Do With Your Vuvuzela Later

via ILuvSA

Also see this cool Vuvuzela Infographic.

This brilliant article was written by SuperSport’s Peter Davies, and reproduced via Dan Bailey.

Dear World Cup visitors,

Now that you are safely in our country you are no doubt happily realising you are not in a war zone. This may be in stark contrast to what you have been bracing yourself for should you have listened to Uli Hoeness or are an avid reader of English tabloids, which as we all know are only good for wrapping fish ‘n chips and advancing the careers of large-chested teens on page three.

As you emerge blinking from your luxury hotel room into our big blue winter skies, you will surely realise you are far more likely to be killed by kindness than by a stray bullet. Remember that most of the media reports you have read, which have informed your views on South Africa, will have been penned by your colleagues. And you know what journos are like, what with their earnest two thousand word opuses on the op-ed pages designed to fix this country’s ills in a heartbeat. Based on exhaustive research over a three-day visit.

Funnily enough, we are well aware of the challenges we face as a nation and you will find that 95% of the population is singing from the same song-sheet in order to ensure we can live up to our own exacting expectations.We are also here to look after you and show you a good time. Prepare to have your preconceived notions well and truly shattered.For instance, you will find precious few rhinos loitering on street corners, we don’t know a guy in Cairo named Dave just because we live in Johannesburg, and our stadiums are magnificent, world-class works of art.Which is obviously news to the Sky TV sports anchor who this week remarked that Soccer City looked ‘ a bit of a mess’. She didn’t realize the gaps in the calabash exterior are to allow in natural light and for illumination at night, and not the result of vandalism or negligence.The fact that England, the nation which safely delivered Wembley Stadium two years past its due date, is prepared to offer us South Africans advice on stadium-readiness should not be surprising.

The steadiest stream of World Cup misinformation has emanated from our mates the Brits over the past couple of years.If it’s not man-eating snakes lurking in Rooney’s closet at the team’s (allegedly half-built) Royal Bafokeng training base, then it’s machete-wielding gangs roaming the suburbs in search of tattooed, overweight Dagenham dole-queuers to ransack and leave gurgling on the pavement.In fact what you are entering is the world’s most fascinating country, in my opinion. I’m pretty sure you will find that it functions far more smoothly, is heaps more friendly and offers plenty more diversions than you could possibly have imagined.In addition to which, the population actually acts like human beings, and not like they are being controlled by sinister forces from above which turns them into bureaucratically-manipulated robots.Plus we have world’s most beautiful women. The best weather. Eight channels of SuperSport. Food and wine from the gods themselves. Wildlife galore. (Love the Dutch team’s bus slogan: “Don’t fear the Big 5; fear the Orange 11”).

Having said all that, Jo’burg is undoubtedly one of the world’s most dangerous cities. Just ask those Taiwanese tourists who got out of their hire car to take close-up snaps of tawny beasts at the Lion Park a few years back. Actually, ask what’s left of them. And did you know the chances of being felled by cardiac arrest from devouring a mountain of meat at one of our world class restaurants has been statistically proven to be 33.3% higher in Jozi than in any other major urban centre not built upon a significant waterway? It’s true. I swear. I read it in a British tabloid.

Having recently spent two years comfortably cocooned in small town America, I’m only too aware of how little much of the outside world knows about this country. The American channel I used to work for has a massive battalion of employees descending on World Cup country. It has also apparently issued a recommendation to its staff to stay in their hotels when not working.Given that said corporation is headquartered in a small town which many say is “best viewed through the rear-view mirror”, I find the recommendation, if it’s true, to be utterly astounding. In fact I don’t believe it is true. Contrary to the global stereotype, the best Americans are some of the sharpest people in the world. The fact they have bought most tickets in this World Cup proves the point.

Of course I have only lived in Johannesburg, city of terror and dread, virtually all my life, so don’t have the in-depth knowledge of say, an English broadsheet journalist who has been in the country for the weekend, but nevertheless I will share some of my observations gleaned over the years.Any foreign tourist or media representative who is worried about his safety in South Africa should have a word with the Lions rugby fans from last year, or the Barmy Army cricket supporters (lilywhite hecklers by day, slurring, lager-fuelled lobsters by night). They managed just fine, just like the hundreds of thousands of fans who have streamed into the country over the past fifteen years for various World Cups, Super 14 matches, TriNations tests and other international events.

Negligible crime incidents involving said fans over said period of time.Trivia question: which country has hosted the most global sporting events over the past decade and a half? You don’t need me to answer that, do you?

In addition. Don’t fret when you see a gaggle of freelance salesmen converge on your car at the traffic lights (or robots as we like to call them) festooned with products. You are not about to be hijacked. Here in Mzansi (nickname for SA) we do a lot of our purchasing at robots. Here you can stock up on flags, coat hangers, batteries, roses for the wife you forgot to kiss goodbye this morning and a whole host of useful merchandise.Similarly, that guy who runs up as you park the rental car outside the pub intends no malice. He’s your car guard. Give him a buck or two and your vehicle will be safe while you refuel for hours on our cheap, splendid beer. Unless someone breaks into it, of course.

We drive on the left in this country. Exercise caution when crossing the road at a jog-trot with 15 kilograms of camera gear on your back. Exercise common sense full stop. Nothing more. Nothing less. If you want to leave wads of cash in your hotel room like our Colombian friends, don’t be surprised if it grows wings.Bottomline. Get out there and breathe in great lusty lungfuls of this amazing nation. Tuck into our world-class food and wines. Disprove the adage that white men can’t dance at our throbbing, vibrant night-clubs. Learn to say hello in all eleven official languages. Watch at least one game in a township. You will not be robbed and shot. You will be welcomed like a lost family member and looked after as if you are royalty. Ask those Bulls rugby fans who journeyed to Soweto recently.With a dollop of the right attitude, this country will change your life.

It’s Africa’s time. Vacate your hotel room. Join the party.Waka waka eh eh.

Dear Mexicans

Free lunch at Nandos if you lose.

via @Mpieters

Cape Town is Ready

After the very loud Vuvuzela blowing at noon today, you cannot argue that South Africa is not pumped and ready for the 2010 FIFA World Cup. And this beautiful short film of Cape Town and her stadium by African Renaissance Productions is enough to give me goosebumps.

via Ian Badenhorst

Google Streetview South Africa

Google Streetview launched in South Africa today. This is one of the delightful Streetview images you may encounter as you virtually wander the streets of Stellenbosch (Street View Map Link).

via @StephanieBe

iPhone 4 (Parody) Ad with Glee’s Jane Lynch/Sue Sylvester

via take180.com

I Think This Guy’s Got World Cup Spirit

via @danbaileyza

The best 2010 FIFA World Cup Calendar I’ve seen. FTW!

Miley Cat

Partys in the USA.

via danlev

7 Days To Go

… It’s 7 days (and a couple of hours) until the start of the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa and I have now decked out my car with my countries’ flags. I was born (and have lived most of my life) in South Africa, but eu sou quase brasileiro (having lived in Brazil too). I have tickets for the second game of the tournament (France vs. Uruguay) in Cape Town’s beautiful stadium and I am now officially* excited.

* However not officially associated with FIFA or their sponsors.

Cape Town (Green Point) Stadium at Sunset [High-Res]

The official FIFA 2010 World Cup Cape Town Stadium at Sunset. I live here. How lucky am I?

8 days to go. So excited.

Photo via @wernerjvr (Original Image Link)

Iron Baby

via Patrick Boivin

Only iBest for amaVisitors

Yet another brilliant advert from Nandos. Their agency is brilliant.

Kitteh Battles Forcefield

via CovChannel

Awesome Mashup

Sweet Dreams Are Made of Seven Nation Army

The White Stripes vs. Eurythmics

 via themusiclibrary

World Cup Excitement

Great advert from Guy Ritchie and Nike. See you in the stadium on June 11th.

wezzo:

Excited for the World Cup yet?

Oh. My. Greatness. To be honest I haven’t really been in true World Cup spirit, but slowly it’s kicking in, less than a month. Oh and Nike wen’t and created this amazing ad, awesome.

Had a look around and turns out Guy Richie directed the last Take It To The Next Level ad check it out below.

And then watch The FA’s Whatever Level ad. All top, top class

Restaurant Review:

This review is part of several which will form part of the Cape Town Autumn/Winter Restaurant Specials Series. For a list of the restaurants in Cape Town offering Autumn/Winter Specials

Geography Fail

via Chicagoist

Dr Brown’s Family Fibre

So much of Win for South African Web content.

Video created by notontvSA (Original on YouTube)

I would totally watch this if it went to Series.

wezzo:

The South African Office

Brilliant! I was expecting the worse but was pleasantly surprised, well acted and they nailed it. All with a South African flavor as well from BEE to an Afrikaans Dwight who spent some time in the Army.

All done by NotOnTV, which is a new youtube channel providing local comedy content that you largely won’t find on SA TV because it would be deemed ‘unPC’ or too ‘sensitive’ for SA TV viewers.

The NotOntv team pays homage to Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant’s ‘The Office’, by imagining what a South African version of the 2001 ground-breaking comedy could be like, with this 10 minute pilot.

[via SARocks]

Friskies…

Now with LSD.